broken men

i think i have a thing for broken men.

take the gossip girl series for example,

spoiler allert for season 2 episode 13!!


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i never found Chuck appealing until this episode..

when he lost his father and Blair had to be all caring and loving and try to 'save' him and he was so sexy and sad and broken and cute.

i realize that that is me.

i need(ed) a guy who i can save and who can save me to have a successful start to a relationship (i think this ties in with the boy needing me as much as i need him bit in the last tag i did)

meh.

♥ Lynn

to stay committed

today a friend of mine, kai asked me "how (do i) manage to stay committed" and i realized that people in their 20s do tend to have a bit of an issue about committing (but of course, not generalizing here) and finding the right one and sometimes the one that they found is more interested in raking up notches and bedding all the mr. right nows and are not interested at all about mr. right..


..yet.

come on! when i was in school i just wanted to find mr right nows and if he were right, the 'now' part would just drop off (yes, i realize this is from some book but i dont remember) and i was dating like some desperado (okay okay, i wasnt really thinking about the 'now' part dropping off at all). any slob (some of them nice, some of them were just.. slobs) that returned or showed interest, i dated.

yes, i was that pathetic.

anyway, moving away from the non-point.

he (kai, not the exes) made me realize, once again, how damn lucky isaac and i are..

the point?

zeke, i'm lucky to have you.. and i'm sorry i'm such a bitch.

(i have a huge issue about being selfish and not selfish- selfish that i want isaac to spend time with me online when he's overseas, not selfish by saying that he should spend time with the singaporean friends - how often does he go back anyway, i 'can deal with being apart' and not having 'our' time - and then just being stupid after because he listened to my 'unselfish' side when all i really am IS selfish. aiyayay.. girls are complicated and i really dont think that we understand ourselves most of the time.. well, at least i dont.)

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

roller coaster ride

the past week has been a roller coaster of emotions.

being away from isaac is damn bloody hard to say the least and we got into numerous fights.

i admit i could have been a little more enduring and such but when something like this happened a couple of times, its time to see and make him wear a little emotional blood.

take exhibit A.

i got up at 9am (aussie time) and had a long full day visiting Max and then work and i get home at about 10.30pm (aus). the agreement with zeke was that we met online after work but he was out with friends so i told him to keep hanging out with them (i mean, how often is he back?)

even though he told me to go to bed if i was tired, i was determined to stay up so that we could have some alone time.. instead, i waited up till 2am (aus) until he got back and then he comes back with a whole bunch of friends. i admit, at this time, i was already starting to be a little annoyed- hang out all day, cant i just get some alone time with him!?

anyway, i didnt say anything and i thought, hey you know, eventually he'd get back to me but no, i waited for 20mins-half an hour for A reply of "i love you" or a kiss emoticon. and that just drove me mad. i mean, wouldnt you? and imagine how mad i felt at about -godknowswhattime-am my time.

bah. yesterday we had a showdown, so to speak.

yelling and shouting at each other on the phone and we just somehow couldnt really meet in the middle.

we finally did but then he had to leave for ROME last night-family holiday.

but thats not the point, the point is..

have a great flight and trip, baby!

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

nothing.

we have less and less things to talk about..

i dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing that we lead such separate lives right now..

i mean, why shouldnt i worry about us drifting apart?

maybe we're starting to appreciate each other less and less.

maybe..




xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i cant break it to my heart

lyrics

If it's ok I'll leave the bedlight on
And place your water glass where it belongs
And if it's alright
I'll lie awake at night
Pretending I am curled up at your side.

See I'm circling in these patterns
Living out of memories
I'm still a long way from accepting it
That there's just no you and me

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times.
And if its alright I'll still be loving you
Cause I cant break it to my heart

Is it just me
Did I commit a crime?
I won't believe that loving you
Is just a waste of time

Was it in my head
Leading into things you never said
Cause I still don't have the answers
To why we couldn't work it out
I want to think it's something that I did
So I can turn it back around.

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times.
And if it's alright I'll still be loving you
Cause I cant break it to my heart

And nothing will come between us
I want to convince myself we're perfect
In every single way
As long as I can keep the truth away
From my heart
Cause I can't break it to my heart

Cause I still don't have the answers
To why we couldn't work it out
I want to think it's something that I did
So I can turn it back around.

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times.
And if its alright I'll still be loving you

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times.
And if it's alright I'll still be loving you

And if it's alright I'll still be loving you
Cause I cant break it to my heart
I can't break it to my heart




no, isaac and i did not break up but this song is for all those people who've had their heart broken.. i know how hard it can be, dont we all?

so here's a little something to tell you you're not alone in wanting to hold on to those little habits you used to have with him/her..

when my first boyfriend dumped me, i secretly used to go to the classrooms we used to meet up in and just sit in a corner and tear to myself.

hey, it is extremely hard. it was.

the wounds i carried around for the longest time, isaac helped me heal.

maybe even the heartbreaks.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

in the last few hours,

i watched

maid in manhattani loved that Marissa found love with someone she thought was waaaay out of her league. Dont you just hate it when you think that someone's way too good for you and so then you dont even give it a try? Sometimes, when you have a connection.. when you click, you click. doesnt matter what you do.. why should it?

pretty woman
"stay.. stay the night with me, not because i'm paying you, but because you want to" - Edward (Richard Gere)

Sometimes i wonder if people think i'm dating Isaac for his money.. because he spoils me. although i've managed to cure him with a little bit of lynncanpaywiththemoneysheearnsatwork antibiotics. effective only after 7 months. ;)







and a little on the mushy side..

isaac makes me go crazy.

this time last year i was already smitten.

hell, i was smitten from ages before that.

sometimes, it just happens.. you know?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

how many times?

how many times have we let things slide from us?


those little 'insignificants' that actually mean something.

maybe its buying icecream in cups and not actually havin spoons


or maybe even picking up a flower on the way to uni


or.. drinking bubble cup while waiting for class.


or maybe just having friends around to listen to you rant.


thank you..

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

waves that drown yet saves me.

sometimes in relationships, we say things that we dont mean, and its pretty normal..

.. its just that sometimes, the little lies can build up and at costs that we'd rather turn a blind eye to.

sometimes, we snap at the ones we love..

little words can cut deep. perhaps not as deep as we'd like to think but sometimes, it cuts through the scars, the nightmares, of the past

sometimes, we'd rather live in dreams but reality always fucking catches up.. to break our spirits.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]