the alumni

i wish i could have made it for Sri Sempurna's alumni dinner..

i miss the people i grew up with.

♥ Lynn

roller coaster ride

the past week has been a roller coaster of emotions.

being away from isaac is damn bloody hard to say the least and we got into numerous fights.

i admit i could have been a little more enduring and such but when something like this happened a couple of times, its time to see and make him wear a little emotional blood.

take exhibit A.

i got up at 9am (aussie time) and had a long full day visiting Max and then work and i get home at about 10.30pm (aus). the agreement with zeke was that we met online after work but he was out with friends so i told him to keep hanging out with them (i mean, how often is he back?)

even though he told me to go to bed if i was tired, i was determined to stay up so that we could have some alone time.. instead, i waited up till 2am (aus) until he got back and then he comes back with a whole bunch of friends. i admit, at this time, i was already starting to be a little annoyed- hang out all day, cant i just get some alone time with him!?

anyway, i didnt say anything and i thought, hey you know, eventually he'd get back to me but no, i waited for 20mins-half an hour for A reply of "i love you" or a kiss emoticon. and that just drove me mad. i mean, wouldnt you? and imagine how mad i felt at about -godknowswhattime-am my time.

bah. yesterday we had a showdown, so to speak.

yelling and shouting at each other on the phone and we just somehow couldnt really meet in the middle.

we finally did but then he had to leave for ROME last night-family holiday.

but thats not the point, the point is..

have a great flight and trip, baby!

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

no life.

this will be my 622 post on this blog.

not counting the two that i put up on lynndulge to direct them here,

the other 71 on my private blog,

the 1093 on nobodyzsweetheart,

and the i dont know how many on wordpress.




i wish i had a bath tub. i'll just lie in the bath tub in hot water till the water turns cold. i miss just lying in water.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i died a little inside

so after having crying fits for the past few days..

today came.

and there were no tears..

i dont think i've really come to terms that he's gone yet.

i sort of did at work today..

i was serving this table some food and suddenly i started to wonder where i was gonna go after work.

and for a split second i was going to go to zeke (our) 's place

and i was "greeted" with an image of him sitting on the stairs right directly in front of the front door..

and then i realized that he was gone and i died a little more inside

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i dont want you to leave..

because it feels like my heart is breaking when i think about you walking through the gates alone..


xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

rip - hairless 6.

so, i think that cognitive psychology sucked ass.

and that we lost 6 grandchildren (honey gave birth and the babies all died)

and my pathology paper's today (so not ready)

and my mother's birthday's today

and i just feel all around stressed out to death and a half.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i hate you.

please rot in hell.





i f*cking hate 2000 word lab reports that are worth 40%

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

eye infection

yes. i finally went to the doctors only to be told that i've got a bacterial infection on my eye.

no its not an eye pimple.

if it were i would only have to wait till yesterday before painfully squeezing the bejebus out of it - but obviously the doctor will give me some medications and eye drops and tell me to behave myself

but since its not..

i've gotta put this stupid eye drops on my eye and eat antibiotics :(

so i'm home bound and unable to go to uni (and i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing)

i wouldnt be a very good blogger if i didnt put gory weird one eyed pictures of me up here so..

brace thyselves!

with glasses and one eye obviously swollen shut

without my glasses with right eye swollen shut.

zeke trying to kiss my eye better.

one last glory shot of my swollen eye. it even looks purplish!

all in all. i think it looks like someone took a fist to my eye (and i, in return put a foot up their ass) but at least this should heal faster.

it should heal by wednesday, if not, another doctor's appointment and MC for missing out on unmissable practicals and not to mention.. mid semester exams!!

err.. wohoo?

if this is the price to pay for wanting more time.. i dont want more time to study.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

happy m

merdeka day and i completely forgot.

i'm just that patriotic.

bah

happy merdeka day

go have a drink while i nurse my swollen eye.

yes, i'm pissy.

seeing out of one eye for two days tends to do that to you.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

moving in reverse

how did i let me get this way..

i'm holding too much inside.. again.

things are happening 5 months too late.

why am i starting to feel this way?

we need to talk.

I never feared the unexpected
Till I found myself in this peculiar place
Unaware of where I was headed
Turns out it was your footsteps I had chased

Well I should know so much better than this
But you've occupied the center of my universe

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

idisapoint

some of my singapore shoppings :)

note the pink belt, the little miss naughty shirt.. the red nails..and not to mention the sexy skinny jeans XD

***

***

this is a rottenapple product
and their product is idisapoint;

guranteed to cripple hearts.

it just feels like lately, with everything i say, i drive you away.

sigh..

whats been getting us down so much lately?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

dont over do it

sigh, back in melbourne and once again.. its dreary and cold and lonely.

i miss staying at zik's because i get pampered to death

the flight was tolerable..

i got all the seats on my side of the aisle after changing planes at Darwin so the flight wasnt too bad then but the flight from singapore on to darwin was a fuckwit.

i got two chinese speaking crazy bitches who couldnt shut up even if their lips were stapled together to sit next to me and they yakked so much i was ready to cut off my ear.

when i arrived.. i called mum and.. she hadnt even left the house so i was stuck in melbourne's rain and wind for an hour an a half until i met gurukid and random phd boy until their rides all came and then i was alone again.

being home brings a certain comfort and alot of pain.

pangs.

i miss you so much..

this year, chinese new year isnt going to be very picture-y neither is it gonna be very happy..

i'll try but i apologize in advance anyway..










i'm this close to screaming my head off, crying my eyes out and drinking myself to sleep.

pfft. is it any wonder why i'm the problem child in the family?







apparently i lost weight..

.. but i think i look like i have developed a stomach.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i stick cigarette butts in my heart

sometimes, things that shouldnt hurt me hurts anyway.

but isnt that always the case with us?

we live life as best we can.. and then bam something comes along, something creeps up on us, catches up and we're left aching, hurting.

wouldnt things be so much easier if we had something, someone, anything to blame.

so much harder when we know, no one is at fault and yet, we still feel the way we do..

so we take it upon ourselves and blame us.

and suddenly, we're the guilty ones.

and we ache even more.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

happy fucking day.

woke up feeling depressed..

i dont know..

guilty maybe..

yin's birthday party is tonight and i'm working.

yin's birthday is tomorrow.. and i'm working again.

then there are those imissmyboyfriend pangs that grips and strangles my heart.

i know you guys are probably laughing at me now.

'who is this idiot who cries herself to sleep at night because her boyfriend is gone'

i wish i knew how to stop.

'but you could always just keep yourself busy, it'll be a distraction'

trust me, it doesnt work.

its like what happened yesterday.

i left the house and headed into the city to meet see ann.

we had brunch at pancake parlour and then headed over to james'.

hung out with james and his family + stephen when they went for lunch.. at about 3ish.. cn, stephen and i went shopping around the city with the limited time we had left before we all head off to work.

i worked till 10.. got home at about 11.45ish because of stupid train delays.

with the waiting times aside..

i still had the pangs while shopping and while i was at work..

ugh.. i dont wanna stay home..

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

optimism died with chivalry.

happy december.

christmas is coming..

lonesome christmas time.

the year is coming to a close..

a new year's coming..

pfft.

who needs optimism?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

lock and throw away your heart

broken lies.
stolen ties.
i'm not really here.

where lies the past?
where lies the future?
dont think about it.

what about the present?
it doesnt exist.

my serenity,
peace.
my life.
ur ostracized.

never will you control me again.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

thats the sound of echoes.

so..

the last day of uni came and went.

hip hip horrah.

yeah right.

research participation - $25 for an hour and a bit of answering stupid questions.

lunch with Elle, Cn, Ash, Mel.

work - pay is getting fuckier and fuckier. $42 for 5 hours.

sometimes i dont even know why i work.

$8 an hour to waitress.

we all know thats shitty pay.

and its a damn friday night..

...work killed my non existant social life.

its times like these that i just feel like i just want to throw the god damn singapore airlines air-stewardess' uniform back at those mother fuckers.

fuck.

at least my other job pays better $11+..

and i'm working tomorrow.

but i just feel like curling under my blanket with buffy.

teddy'll just have to do.

-

the thing with love is that when we let all these little things build up, they culminate and suddenly, black is white, right is wrong and your entire world is topsy turvy, ass over tits and lunatics have taken over the asylum.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]