its not about being fat,,

..but being fatter than ppl in my race..




i've been going through the whole omigodomigodiamsooooooooooofat recently and i have decided to be a little tyra banks-ish.

..with a whole lot of support from zik.. thanks baby..

i dont wear xxxxxxxxs or the size kosongs or whatever the hell all the skinny asian girls wear or however little they weigh.

i'm a size 8 or 10 (pity they dont have size 9s) and i have breasts, ass and thighs. but then of course there are those skinny bitches who have breasts anyway


and if you think i'm fat you can go kiss my (fat) ass.

..took me long enough.. but hey, its not easy.

it kinda scares me to be surrounded by skinny people in asia and having to get a (gasp) M or *double gasp* L or (horrors of horrors!) NO SIZE

but whatever. i gotta stop trying to compare myself with every fucking one and be content with myself.

why agonize longer?

its like i'm trying to push myself back into anorexia.. bulimia..






i gotta remind myself to love the curves because lingerie looks so much better filled up (and we all know how much i love lingerie)

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

dysfunctional

i wonder if i move out what'll i do..

there'd be no way in hell i'd be able to support myself with work and uni.

meh.

life's a bitch.

frustrated.

infuriated.

headache-ing already larrrr.

i wont be able to survive here because i will die (probably from nagging/fighting/screaming overload) and i wont be able to survive out there because i'd also die (mostly from hunger but maybe thats a good thing coz i've expanded to the size of hippopotamuses and have thighs that resemble Trex's and arms that thinks like its the BRITISH during WW2).

oh jebus.

i'm pretty much fucked dont i just wish.. and fat.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

skinny bitch

ugh.. i just know i've been piling on pounds by shoving a gazillion kilojoules down my throat -_-"

eating plan number 'fill-in-blank' must be put into motion!

ugh. i wish i were a skinny bitch sometimes who doesnt have to care about what i "inhale" and i wont grow fat.

i'd exercise but i dont have the time and quite frankly, i'm lazy..

i know what you guys can get me for my birthday!



this part of the book got me hooked :

" If you can't take one more day of self-loathing, you're ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight."

and the authors ?

Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

a former agent for Ford Models and a former model who has a degree in nutrition?

niiiiceeee.

skinny and healthy.

victoria becham reads this..

..but dont worry.

no way do i wanna be a blonde (psysically that is, coz right now, brunette as i am, i am already so mentally blonde that i could possibly be an albino) skinny bimbo with half circles for breasts.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]