two rings.

i've put on weight.

plans?

-eat a little less
-exercise a little more
-walk more tram/train less

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

feeling a little hormonal

i feel like ice cream.. alot of it.

and pizza.

yumm..

all that food things aside..

i dont actually care if i'm an 8 or a 10 or a 12 or a 14 (well, hopefully never again that or the *shudder* size 16 phase i went through)

as long as i'm happy.

and i dont mean happy in a 'i'm going to starve myself to look good' thing that i put myself through when i was younger and even as recent as last year.

the sneaking around after meals to 'toss the cookies'.. or whatever cookie crumb that managed to get in anyway.

whatever it is.. i dont ever want to relapse.


to the readers who've read my blog posts for the past few years.. i know you read this alot but bear with me.. its like my constant self reminder.

isaac loves me as me and if he can not put that much emphasis on the physical appearance.. i dont see why i shouldnt be able to too.

besides, i have an example to set.

love lots/lotsa love/and all other ways i used to end in the past..

xoxo
you know you love me

yes i stole this quote from gossip girl even before the series came out.. obviously not before the book

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ] this is the original one *puffs out chest*

not so little you and i anymore

so i'm up and about and back at uni only to have to face mid semester next week for a couple of very painful subjects (ahem, pathology and biochemistry B)

anyway, today's been a little odd.

actually, life as it is has gone on a weird rampage.







i've been eating and craving weird things O_o

my sister and my mother are convinced that i'm pregnant

well, gee, thanks alot guys

=.=

i guess if you really wanted to get into the gory details, (family members of both parties should not read till they see a pink fluffy pig the words become 'normal coloured' again)



my body thinks it is but i am not because 'the pill' hormones does that to you; tricks your body- that it is. the things people come up with!!



anyway, back to the whole eating thing..

i've been craving (since sunday) seafood spaghetti (from satsuki), roast chicken/crispy skin chicken, hot jam doughnuts, risotto - the chicken and mushroom variety from sofias, cookies and cream ice cream (which i just found out has been restocked in my house-horrah!) and a whole bunch of other junk.

at this rate.. i'm gonna be a fat pig who wont be able to squeeze into size 8 stuff (i only say squeeze because my breasts seem to like size 10 better than it does size 8 but its doable braless- like the, ahem, polka dotted dress which now is gonna lead me into a whole new debate..)

why dont i friggin look size 8?! :(

even in the polka dotted dress i dont look size 8

sigh, zeke says its because of curves..

i say..

stop making me look fat!

sigh,

chants to self- i love my curves i love my curves ilovemycurves ilovemycurves

GODDAMNIT

ps. all you skinny asian bitches out there..

*blip* you very much *smiles sweetly*

*pause*

for some reason unknown, thinks of bikinibabe..

ps. ps. okay, i dont really mean that.

sigh, i'm a miserable girl with no backbone.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

on top of everything.

i've put on weight.

oh please just let it all be over and done with already.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

hi, i'm the snake lady

ewww!my sunburn is peeling and it looks gross!!

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

sugar~

MJ got laser eye surgery O_o

omigod omigod omigod. it is not fair..!!

i wanna get my eye done too!!

i'm gonna be really bimboic and say..

i wanna get hair extentions, eye surgery so that i can have double eyelids (and not just double eyelids that are so deep that they dont even look like they're double eyelids), laser eye surgery, breast implants, nose job, brain enhancement, personality replacement..

.. and now i'm just so full of bullshit.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i shall go on a diet and you cant stop me.

i have put on weight :(

now my bmi's up to 20.5 and i'm not exactly happy. at. all.

yes, go on your excuse to say that 18.5-22 or something like that is normal.

i want to be a 18 or 19 :(

i need to lose the flab.. now.

before you all go 'haih, why you so god damn obsessed wan?'

its because i'm not a skinny bitch like all normal asian girls.

sigh.

its a curse to be a chubster.

-

Wednesday :

woke up at about noon only to carelessly stumble into my bedroom (camped out in the living room again) and find out that my cute little buffster decided to relieve herself all over my bed.

rawr!

cleaned out my room and somehow "washed" the bed.

good thing she peed in the corner and i was able to shift the thick fat mattress off the base and pour water on that corner (with a bucket underneath to collect buffy's uber concentrated piss) over and over and over again before pouring detergenated solution over that at that point of time, utterly dripping peed in corner over and over and over and over again and then repeating the clean water rinse again and again (and again and again).

its times like these that i really wanna squish buffy.

anyway..

pretty uneventful day..

its depressing that i am reduced to tears almost everytime i talk to zik since he's been gone.

i miss him.

its hard loving someone who's so far away when all you want to do is just be in their arms, kiss their lips and just breathe them in..

-

Thursday/ today.

i watched good luck chuck!

finally.

woot woot!

i fell asleep in my sisters room before she cruelly woke me up and reminded me that i told zik that i was gonna go jogging.

i. cant. jog. to. save. my. life.

anyway, the 'whole' family went jogging and i huffed and puffed my way around.

actually, i think i was dragged around more than anything else.

meh.

while i was in my baggy shirt and tennis skirt/shorts with really messy hair and at this point of time, wheezing to breathe.. i bumped into Jamie.

gak!

i was with my sister (who i think was swooning) because i think she was eyeing and taking in his biceps and coz she was asking me about him the rest of the way back home.

anyway, i knew jamie lived close by but what was he doing there?!

blah.

i miss you zik.. :(

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

dysfunctional

i wonder if i move out what'll i do..

there'd be no way in hell i'd be able to support myself with work and uni.

meh.

life's a bitch.

frustrated.

infuriated.

headache-ing already larrrr.

i wont be able to survive here because i will die (probably from nagging/fighting/screaming overload) and i wont be able to survive out there because i'd also die (mostly from hunger but maybe thats a good thing coz i've expanded to the size of hippopotamuses and have thighs that resemble Trex's and arms that thinks like its the BRITISH during WW2).

oh jebus.

i'm pretty much fucked dont i just wish.. and fat.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

yours.

ughh..*yawns*

3.30pm and i feel like its already 1.30am.

bleaghhhhhhh..!

thats right bitches, using the university pc DOES have its advantages.. i get to blog in colour!~ i love my mac but when i am blogging..

anyway..

last night was kinda hillarious (in a really frustrating way)

jun kinda leaked the whole isaac thing to dad..

.. and dad questioned yin.

if i am not mistaken, the conversation went something like this

dad: who is this 'ishiak'?! boy or girl?
yin: *flustered*girl la!
mum: DONT LIE TO YOUR FATHER!!

bwahahaha. amusing. but now i have to 'own up' and am not really looking forward to that..

.. dont think dads like to share.

dad arrives on wednesday and.. and.. *faints*

i hope that he has a new lap top for me tho ;) :D

classes started at about 10.00am for me and miracles of miracles, i was actually early.

chem lecture.. bio lecture.. bio tute (we skipped and went for the blue dog poster sale instead).. lunch.. i crashed his philo lecture. he's in his philo tute now.. ughhh!! i have to wait another 45 mins till my next lecture- Australian Flora and Fauna.

god knows why i choose that topic. but seriously, ugh..! i know, i just know that i am gonna KO the second i get in there and snore yawn till the lecture ends.

at least i get to sleep in tomorrow :D

or actually.. james tan! what time will you be awake tomorrow?!

i said i'd visit and i dont get off class from 4 right up till about 6. unless you dont mind a half hearted half hour talk during one of my breaks.. tag me.

i feel like blubber.. watch me bounce.

..by tomorrow i will have ass the size of texas and look 6 months pregnant.

dont mind me.. the lack of sleep is getting to my head.

anyway..i feel really manja-ish..

manja me!

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

how it feels to be the last one.

Yin :

rule number one : do not talk to strangers
rule number two : do not have sex with strangers

(just in case apparently)

i have no comment.. at all.

Cheryl and Patrick came over for dinner and Yin and Jun played the violin and piano and i had to sing.

*

reality is harsh

.. so tired. so drained. so..

i guess two hours of sleep didnt help much.

i officially have eyebags and look like a hag.

PLUS i have been putting on weight (i just KNOW it; dont ask me how)

and in my delusional mind, i wish that 'the chub' would cruise its way to Butt Avenue or Breast Boulevard but they usually love to take up residence upon Thigh Lane or Stomach Street.

i am gonna end up fat, ugly and most probably alone =(

i found a picture of me when i was fatter.. and i hated what i saw.

double chin, round face, bad hair.. (trust me, this one is no where close to the one i posted earlier in the month which you cant access now [haha!])

i shudder.. and although i know i should keep those pictures, i deleted all, but one.

just to remind me, no matter what, never go back there..

.. no matter what.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]