heartfelt

damnit.

i've been an emotional wreck.

i guess this evening's 'shove down' really was my breaking point.

so a couple of posts ago i mentioned that i was going through a hard time..

and i dont know if its still going to happen but i'm more comfortable talking about it.

its been going on for ages but it still hits just as hard.

whatever it is, dad's trying to fix wrongs..

not easy when there has been little itty (but significant) statements that just hurt other family members that has been building up.

some hurt take longer to heal than others if they even heal at all.

i'm not saying that its entirely his fault; i know we all play a little role in this falling apart.

i constantly tell zeke, 'we cant let our family in the future be like this', 'we must never spoil our kids like that'.

sometimes i'm scared that we'd fall apart (even more so when)/like how my family does.

i guess its almost like an unspoken thing. and because its unspoken, things build up.. or we just let things slide so much that eventually we just dont care as much in the end or that there's too much to deal with that we just dont want to bother.

life's a pain in the butt but if there's something i know, is that there's nothing like a good support system that lets you know that you'll get right back on your feet.

xoxo
you know you love me

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