i'm afraid to press anything else

after 'getting' shan's present, zeke and i went over to take a look at the display at myer

you know how every year they have different decorations at myer?

this year was all about santa really works - 'he' does have to go to school and such (which i thought was an adorable [and plausible] idea - come on! santa doesnt live forever and how would he be able to get presents to everyone in the world without some help? -lets just ignore the fact that rudolf doesnt even exist )


















anyway, today yin and i went out for a little bit of shopping..

starting at melbourne central, stopping at a quaint little sushi place for lunch and then heading over to the basement..

then we went to supre and i bought NOTHING even though i partially fell in love with this maxi dress.
but it didnt look flattering (maybe because its a size too big and i've put on weight =.=" )

and i also tried on this top
but why state the obvious?

then we headed down to ze ligerie shop to buy lingerie and this is the pile of stuff i tried on (or tried to try on with my limited time frame)
i left the shop with 3 vavavoom bras :)

and then we headed to cotton on to try the gladiator sandals and i couldnt decide which one to get.

dont judge me. i forgot to paint the other leg because i got distracted and then forgot and you should get the point.
didnt end up getting either because i really couldnt decide.

random pictures from ages ago :)

zeke when we were at hanhdorf (chocolate shop)
my hot chocolate at choclatte (camberwell)
so pretty <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLygZ-LsHL4QnAsGVR4eHPaqqvu2H-z5HGrr1Q5eth3KhwggofAI-fE5-hOlJhG0Xf4xB2KrkwogX2QdAHKwbUzlVQ86TAtA1e2L0ll4bQguarLL4Ix-RvkzXDiOYG9KFLyal04TEu8m0Y/s1600-h/Image021.jpg">my red headed devil
my blue haired sweetie

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

two rings.

i've put on weight.

plans?

-eat a little less
-exercise a little more
-walk more tram/train less

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

the last

for our last supper dinner we ate at esposito


my entree: lightly cooked scallops + raviolli (but i dont think they called 'it' that) + pumpkinhis entree: quail
his main: some kind of fish
my main: duck
my man:
his dessert:his girl
my dessert: chocolate ice cream (very rich!) + cream + caramel
my satisfaction.

my kisshis love.
our memories.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i died a little inside

so after having crying fits for the past few days..

today came.

and there were no tears..

i dont think i've really come to terms that he's gone yet.

i sort of did at work today..

i was serving this table some food and suddenly i started to wonder where i was gonna go after work.

and for a split second i was going to go to zeke (our) 's place

and i was "greeted" with an image of him sitting on the stairs right directly in front of the front door..

and then i realized that he was gone and i died a little more inside

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

everything

Oohh I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
I'd do anything for you, your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand

Words could not express how much you mean to me
There must be some other way to make you see
If it takes my heart and soul you know I'd pay the price
Everything that I possess I'd gladly sacrifice

Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby, oh baby
You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon
You know you've got the power girl boy
To keep me holding on
So now you've got the best of me
C'mon and take the rest of me
Oh baby

Though you're close to me we seem so far apart
Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart
If it takes forever girl then I'm prepared to wait
The day you give your love to me won't be a day too late

Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I can sing
Oh baby, oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby, oh baby
You give me just a taste of love
To build my hopes upon
You know you've got the power girl boy
To keep me holding on
So now you've got the best of me
C'mon and take the rest of me
Oh baby

Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i dont want you to leave..

because it feels like my heart is breaking when i think about you walking through the gates alone..


xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

ken~

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

so yesterday:

SO TODAY :
xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

GUESS WHAT WE FOUND?!

you know how people talk about bicardi 151 like its the coolest alco around?

maybe because its freaking 75% alcohol





well, if its your 'best', its time you thought about black absinthe


just in case you cant read.. black absinthe is 85% alcohol and will probably kill you. (not really)


it might however, drive you insane..

and make you a little camwhorish

the suspense is killing us- we wanna know how it tastes like!!
interested in getting a bottle for yourself?

ask me, and maybe i'll get one to you ;)

obviously not for free :p


xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

too weird

sometimes i get really concerned about kids younger than i am believing in forever.

i feel like they're so sheltered and stuff and how can they say that they want forever with some guy and give that one guy everything.. their virginity.. their hearts.. how can they invest so much into a relationship just because the guy says forever?

and then i realized.. i believe in forever too.

who the hell am i to judge them?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

stop me

i'm infected it's like a disease
like poison, you touched me, my heartbeat
it's spreading so sweetly
what are you thinking.. when we're this close?
i count on the space that i keep
guards up in towers they're watching, they're waiting
don't hurt me
the walls that protect me, keep me inside
i hate it when we say goodbye
alone for the rest of the night ... without you

tonight, i am waiting for you
to call me when you're not supposed to
i've been trying to send you signs
the doors to me are hard to find
so stop me, stop me, this time...

you kiss me goodnight on the cheek
each time it gets closer to my lips
or am i imagining
the parking lot's empty
so kiss me again

i hate it when we say goodbye
alone for the rest of the night without you

tonight, i am waiting for you
to call me when you're not supposed to
i've been trying to send you signs
the doors to me are hard to find
so stop me, stop me this time..

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

you dont drive me anywhere but totally insane

guess what?

zeke and i went to SEXPO!

but thats for today, yesterday zeke and i went to ikea and picked out a nice new table for his room and little odds and ends..

while he's studying for his last paper, i'm going to redecorate his room! such a good little project for me so that i wont keep him away from work *beams*

anyway, back to sexpo..

dont know what sexpo is?

"Sexpo is an Australian exhibition focusing on displaying all aspects of health, sexuality and adult lifestyle for all Australians.It is only open to patrons over the age of 18 (pfft, i didnt even get checked for ID and there were people running around that looked younger than 18. zeke not included), and is run by Club X. Sexpo is run in most major capital cities, including Perth, Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne and Brisbane" -Wiki

(things in italics are my extra inputs)

anyway, it was kinda fun and there was a sex ride!!

no i didnt take pictures, sorry :(

i would say next year but it might be the last year it would be held in melbourne O_o

there were heaps of things going on

mostly people selling sex toys and kinky clothes ranging from T shirts with funky phrases to bondage-SM gear and then there were lingerie fashion shows, strip poker, peep shows, a meet porn stars thing and also performances (naked acrobatics, pole dancing, erotic dancing)

but the ONE thing that irked me was the painting section.

the painting section where a man, the only man in the world, paints portraits with his penis

ick!

(for big surface areas he uses his butt and for a bigger brush he uses his balls as well. ick!!)

anyway, i ended up buying a couple of things and going on the ride and getting disgusted by the penile painter.

*shudder*

oh! we went with Steven who played strip poker and had to strip down to his drawers. the two girls who were playing were butt naked 15 mins into the game.

and they wore really daggy underwear. ick!

all in all.. it was okay :)

i got to look at some Punani stuff go google it. its clothing attire and a friend, more of an associate of mine, models for them.

some of their stuff are really cute- i just didnt end up buying any of their stuff :S

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

hen da!

the other day i was walking in melbourne central and i heard "... ne ne.." from two women

i paid no attention but later zeke told me that they were saying "ta de ne ne hen da"

direct translation?

her breasts are big

jebus.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

rip - hairless 6.

so, i think that cognitive psychology sucked ass.

and that we lost 6 grandchildren (honey gave birth and the babies all died)

and my pathology paper's today (so not ready)

and my mother's birthday's today

and i just feel all around stressed out to death and a half.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

uhoh

the next week is going to pass in a breeze.

with three papers next week (tuesday:cognitive psychology, wednesday:pathology, friday:biochemistry) a shopping spree in between and work..

and on friday after work, i'm going to bring isaac out for a movie before going back to his place to snuggle (and then bug him to study the next day)

time's bound to fly with that sort of schedule.

today at work, i got complimented a couple of times for organizing and running the night smoothly.

got heaps of tips too!

(too bad we had to split it 4 ways)

apparently i should be a real estate agent.

because i can smooth talk customers into buying all sorts of food (i guess it does help that the food is good)

sometimes i wonder if i am doing the right choice with what i am doing now.

pathology, psychology, biochemistry.

where will that take me?

a lab somewhere?

i love talking to people, communicating..

i'm good with people!

alot of customers have said that and i think so too.

one time, i had this little kid come in (they're regulars) and the little boy gave me a flower he picked up. (i completely melted) but then his younger sister wanted it so i gave the flower to his little sister.

can you say 'awwwwwhhh'?

how adorable is that?

anyway, i've been thinking of buying myself a nice new camera.

so many things i need to do and they all require money.

money money money!

sometimes, it really annoys me that i dont earn too much.

sigh, you may say that things would get better after the exams but i've got a to do list for after the exams too!

• renew my card
• get my australian passport
• work and earn money so that i can
• travel to perth
• get a new tattoo
• buy a new camera
• get laser eye surgery (maybe next year)
• get my drivers
• get a car (mini cooper? buggy? something cute :p AS IF)
• finish up isaac's christmas present
• gather up the guts to tell my father that i want to move in with isaac next year
  

time is so short!

one more year and a bit then isaac has to pack up and leave.

i dont know if i will be able to pick up and follow him to the states..

if i cant, i dont know how our relationship would be then.

i cant do long distance relationships!

they suck!

i dont have the patience and i need the physical contact

cal me insecure if you will but so f-ing what?

its hard being away from someone you love.. and you never know when things might end.

you never know being apart might just invite other people into your life in that way.

i know i invited myself into isaac's life.

in my defence, the person he was with was a backstabbing bitch who didn't even love him. yes zeke, i think you were silly, okay, stupid, to get together with her in the first place.

before you think of casting stones, if you see love and life in black and white, you havent been through/know enough.

only when you see things in shades of grey, then cast the first stone.

because hey, life isnt just right and wrong.

and that sort of sucks because everything depends on the situation.

i think it was wrong for zeke and i to start out the way we did.. but i think that it would have happened eventually anyway.

meh.

rant rant.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

boys boys boys.

isaac has me addicted to tuna buns from bread top!

yummy ~


listening to: Boys boys boys - Lady Gaga.

trying to: study my damn cognitive psychology

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

done for

exam periods are such a pain :(

i did a little post first exam shopping today with isaac.

i bought 3 tops.

2 tanks and 1 spag strap.

all for pretty good prices.

was gonna buy a new bikini from rusty as well but the fit was awful!

then we wanted to go to MB for some hot chocolate but it was full and ended up with me going back early.

meh.

hope everyone's having more fun than i am :)

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i am so over exams..

.. and i havent even bloody started.












ps. v, i think you're a hot insecure slut *smiles sweetly*

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

raw

good luck to everyone going through exams :)

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

the cut.

a couple of days ago i got this call from a friend of mine at 12.40am asking for a favour.

i said i'd help him out even though it would be zeke doing the 'work'

(i'm sorry baby, i should have asked you if its okay first)

and then i realized, why should i?

you. piss. me. off.

what got me really pissed off was that this guy couldn't even call me when i was interested to go to his youth group after promising numerous times (in front of mutual friends) since the beginning of the year, couldnt even call me when a friend of ours, alison, came down for a week to visit. even when i called and messaged him while she was down, he didnt pick up is phone or reply any of the messages.

first of all, he doesnt talk to me unless he wants something or talk about girls/religion/relationships (i know that is alot to talk about but less than 5 times a year for a conversation is pretty little, no?)

second of all, you call me in the middle of the night, asking for a favour and then i find out that the reason why you're even calling me is because its a favour for your girlfriend.

what the fuck is this?

you. are. an. ass.

you preach your messages but it all doesnt mean shit.

you talk big about wanting to bring me to church but never get back to me about the timings and when they are going to happen (because they arent on every week).

okay, i'm not pissed. rather, i'm disappointed. disappointed in people like you.

you make promises you cant keep.

your hypocrisy sickens me.

its sad, really. that we used to be close once (even though you did frame me for loosing our homework when you had it the whole time) and now, we're just associates, barely even that.

life moves on.

and we make better friends as we grow up.

i know i have.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

do you think love's enough to make a relationship work?

so, do you?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i like this part

i dont understand why when women put sexy/skanky pictures of themselves on facebook, what everyone complements them on is their body and..

.. no one ever notices the very obvious lazy eye.

=.=

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

the dress.

so, the dress that i like, there's only ONE size 8 left. it wont be there when my discount card is valid. if i buy it now, i "waste" $40. WHAT DO I DO?

buy it now and 'waste' money or try to save money and possibly not have it at all?

rawr.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i cant wait to get my hands on you

ps. i swear it looks better with someone actually in it. sexy~!

and if you were reading the past post why i am gonna be getting 40% discount off.,. i have a discount card, valid for a one time use thing for about 20 items, on sale or not. :) how much better would the bargain be if it were on sale and then you get a further 40% off the discounted price?

anyone else wants to save money with me? :p

yummy!


xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

ticked

gets really annoyed when people who havent bothered to maintain their friendship with you calls you out of the blue and asks for a favor.

what. the. fuck.

its not a problem to do a favor for you but please, at least have the decency to maintain contact. and also, a thank you after would be good.

ass.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

non

oh wow.. how incredibly bimbotic did i sound?

ps. get better soon jess.


xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

yes, yes, YES!

*screams* i cant believe you bought that dress before i did!!

no, its not going to stop me, i'm STILL going to get it for 40% less than you paid for it!!

how do you feel about them apples?

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

the best sleep

isaac h.!

i loved sleeping in your arms today

cant wait till the days that we can do it every night.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

i think exam stress is making me emotional.

if someone you loved were put under anesthesia and they were going to die..

you've been given 2 choices

1. to just continue the anesthesia so that they would live just that little bit longer

or

2. to slowly take them off the anesthesia so that you can say goodbye

i wouldnt know what to do.

to not say goodbye would kill me emotionally forever.

to say goodbye would do the same PLUS i wouldnt know what to say.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

rantieee

i know what i want to get you for Christmas !!

now i'm just worried that its an inappropriate present to give to him in front of his parents (no, its nothing kinky) but in a way that it might, possibly be a cruel way of reminding them that he's growing up and that we're serious, serious as in wanting to spend the rest of our lives with each other..

i dont think parents want to see their kids grow independent from them too much.

and i think i am over- reading this present but regardless, i dont think its something to "rub" in his parents faces.

sigh.

i dont think i have a christmas present after all.

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

religious beatboxing

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]

a thousand words.

on the way to carolyn's birthday
i dont remember when this was taken
or this..
or this.
or this.
i love you zeke..

xoxo
you know you love me

[ l y n n d u l g e n c e p r o d u c t i o n s ]