.. it IS my blog :
after debating with myself since the afternoon..
i have decided to vent my spleen so guys, i am gonna start bitching and bitching like no tomorrow.. so dont read on if you dont wanna get a headache.
and i
i've been giving a damn about every damn thing that its time for me to just not fucking care about how it would effect everyone else and focus on me.
i hate how this has managed to make me feel so god damn detached.
i hate how this has managed to make me hate so many other things.
i hate how i have to think again everytime i want to visit other people in the same area.
i hate how i let this get me down.
i hate smiling when i really dont want to.
i hate how i smile anyway.
i hate pretending that its all ok when its not.
i hate how i do anyway.
i hate hiding that it doesnt matter to me when it does.
i hate how it makes me wonder if i did the right thing.
i hate feeling like i've won by default.
i hate that i feel like i am being stupid right now.
i hate how i dont say when something is wrong.
i hate how i bottle up.
i hate feeling that by holding things in, these things, i wont hurt the people, the person, i love.
i hate myself for hurting the person i love.
*
i let a situation effect me so much.. and i know that there's nothing i can really do at the moment.. the ball isnt in my court.
*
anyway, ughh ughh ughh!
saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
woke up, headed over to UC..
on the train to the city.. my sis and i saw this woman dressed up looking like 'edna' from 'the incredibles' i swear! she looked really edna like. we're talking the whole hair, nose, dress style! pity i couldnt get a good picture. i guess i am not as good as i used to be at taking pictures of strangers around on public transport.
later on when i got on the tram to UC, and i got off the tram, this guy said something to me..
'ughreaghypweghy'
and me being me just went..
'harrghh?'
the man repeated himself ..
only to get yet another noise
he repeated himself yet again.. and then once more before i got it..
'you are really pretty'
O_o
then the guy walks to the opposite side of the road and boards the tram back towards the centre of the city.
yes, the guy made my day even if he did stalk me from melbourne central all the way to uc just to tell me i am really pretty :D
anyway, then zik and i bummed around the city.. it was really nice to just walk around and spend time with him.. (even if it was just eating, "shopping" and minotour comic gazing ;) ) then, we headed over to james'. that guy has got me hooked on yet another anime. ARGH. moron. and royce called! =)
royce, i hope that we'll find someone who'd share that place with you till the end of the year.. then .. then.. *excited scream*
*
just a little something that always completes my blog posts.. PICTURES!
<3
whats yours is ours and whats mine is mine.. so THIS is also (kinda) mine :D
something around james' new place
i promise i'll put more pictures up the next time.. i'll try to remember to take pictures of how superbly awesome james' new place is.. i LOVE it!
and.. i cant remember what else i wanted to say so..
xoxo
you know you love me.
